Wednesday, August 5, 2009

English

"Ako lang ang makakapagpadugo ng ilong ni Manny Pacquiao!"

Deodorant

"Sige, kalimutan mo ako para malaman ng iba ang baho mo!"

Brief

"Bwisit na buhay ito! Araw-araw na lang, itlog! Umaga, tanghali,
gabi, itlog! Itlog! Itlog! Lagi na lang itlog!"

Bati in past present and future

Guro: ano ang past tense ng "Bati"??
Juan: binati po mam.
Guro: ang present tense??
Juan: binabati po mam
Guto: ang future tense?
Juan: lalabasan na po mam

Pinoy vs American vs Japanese

Japanese archeologist digging 100m down found copper wire says
"Very good!!!our great ancestors of 1000 years already had telephone!!!"

Americans dug 200m and found optical cable says
"my God!!! this means our great forefathers already had broadband 2000 yrs ago!!!"

Pinoy digs 500m and found nothing says
"anlupit ng mga ninuno natin WIRELESS!!!"

Pinoy vs White vs Black

a blackman, a whiteguy, and a pinoy were in the bar when a sexy lady comes up and says,
"whoever can use the words liver and cheese with style will be my date tonight".

White: steak that liver and melt that cheese on me
Black: i hate liver but i love cheese as i love you
Pinoy: hey, you two!!! Liver alone!!! Cheese mine!!! yeah!!!

The body builder takes off his shirt and the
blonde says, 'What a Great Chest you have!'
He tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. Of dynamite,Baby.

He takes off his pants and the blonde says,'What massive Calves you have!'
The body builder tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. Of dynamite, baby.'

He then removes his underwear, and the blonde goes running out of the Apartment screaming in fear.

The body builder puts his clothes back onand chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.

The blonde replies, 'I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was !!!!!!